Somebody asked a forum of gamers to listen to some of his music last night. Some cool ass dude responded with kind ears. Me. I listened to the stranger's music and was pleased. I even referred the guy here, newgrounds, to get more exposure and possibly some constructive feedback. Then I remembered that I have an account here, too. Why haven't I been on it in months?
I have a new addiction on top of the already life threatening ones, Toribash. Good gravy, is that game maddeningly addictive. Played for 14 strait hours once. Stopped for a crap and to eat some shit and that's about it (I didn't crap and then eat my shit... it's the other way circle). I even skipped out on Blackhawks tickets for the damn thing. Toribash aids my avoidance disorder, if I've got one. And this somehow relates to music...
The last tune (Precious) I tossed up here was finished (unfinished) back in February but, I didn't want to post it. I mean, I can't seem to finish any ideas I have anymore and I'm positive it stems from underlying problems:
1. I have a compulsion to explain everything. I don't know why but, I think everyone needs to know everything I do, and about what they do, and what you do, and what it does. To combat this, I avoid talking at all. What the fuck?
2. Emotionally, I'm pretty fucking frigid when it comes to any type of relations. Which isn't healthy when comes to dealing with people, ya know? I feign almost all care until... until I get some liquor... then I'm an explosion. Hysterical is accurate. Again, that isn't healthy when presented to human relations.
3. I'm overwhelmed with the feeling that there is nobody left to impress. That is to say, at one time, most people I associated with were worth impressing or allowed me to impress upon them, well, anything. Would I be incorrect in my perception that all other living skin sacks require some level of monitoring? Sorry, I meant recognition of their self expressed "abilities"? (I have a notion that points 1 & 2 are being reflected in this section)
LOL Communities sustained solely by information technologies can't possibly satisfy any organism.
I farted.
demsis
Very random ending indeed. fart.
wow? that game... you played for 14 hours! I'm not going to ever play that. lol, sounds addictive. Nice.
I'm usually the type of guy that gets not responses. sadly. nobody notices me, when I try hard. ehh... somehow other people seem to find it easy.
pookicker
Really, you gotta try toribash, it's free. It's like mma chess. I recommend the aikido servers.
I'm finding (in my old age) that the need for attention of any kind is born out of all this multi-media being readily accessible to anyone. Personally, I want attention that I can handle, like being in a good mood in public and improvising some form of entertain if only for a minute or two.
This music stuff, well, this is mine. If some one likes it, cool. If they don't, cool. Those that do might have what I need mind-wise to communicate with.
It is a certainty that no one wishes to be caught trying to hard at something and failing. But you've got to remember why American Idol was popular, it wasn't Ruben Studdard (I actually like him tho).
Too often people get acclaim for absolute shit, just look up the Millionaires. At least they know they are part of a scene. However, they're getting what they wanted and it seems are NOW working hard to improve and keep what they've got. I admit at least one of them has a performer's gene.
Wow. Sorry about that. Let's all move along. Nothing to see here.