The past year flew by and though I experienced a number of highlights, I didn't accomplish anything. A lot of things I like to do, I did a lot less, and things I don't really care to do, I did a lot more. I'm mixed up by habitual contradiction. A life style of a fractured brain... bah, on to what I want to blab about.
For over a decade, I've had a secondary interest that producing audio with the delusion that I would, in some way, generate an income from it. I started to mess with production back in 2000 on the suggestion from a friend, 'dude, we can make our own raps and shit.' It was the most fun I had making tunes ever because I had my friends to share it with and had laughs showing it to others.
At the same time, I was attending a school for broadcast communications, primarily interested in being a radio personality but, fell into production there as well. So, my problem became keeping the music fun for my friends AND myself because I had to get serious if I was going to make production my career. Being serious about some things tends to kill their fun... I never worked in broadcasting after the school.
I was in my early 20's, I had a lot of time to make up my mind (technically, that may sound correct but, time has an odd multidimensional function that takes the idea of having a lot of it and condenses it into a nugget of shit it calls your life). Basically, I had so many other things I wanted to do that I couldn't focus on music production solely and it became something I'd do every now and then instead of playing a video game. Previously, making tunage would tie good times and fond memories of friends together. Now, its just a puzzle to assist me with procrastination.
On top of the fun being out of the music, my physical health wants to bury the sound puzzle part now. The last tune I "completed", No More Man, I spent 12 hours on and when I was ready to master, I couldn't believe how badly I fucked up the EQ. I thought I had my sounds balanced but, I couldn't hear frequencies in my right ear that I know I put in there (ya know, cuz my left can hear the shit). DAMN IT, this is my point, why the fuck am I spending 12 hours on this audio shit (that I'm not gonna make any money with) if I can't even fucking hear it correctly?! If I can't hear it correctly, it's gotta to sound extra shitty to properly working ears. I'm being reality checked, mate. (paragraph bad word count: fucks=3 vs shits=3, tie game... ok, technically 4 to 4 but, its still a draw)
A bit disheartening, I was working on 6 other projects I'd love to know how they turn out but, I can't finish them. Definitely because I can't hear very well, and partly because I'm just not in love with sound right now. I don't think we're going to be on speaking terms for a while.
I need a change. I want to change again.
(I'll start with my undergarments for no reason other than to do it, not because I peppered it with a dense expulsion of gas.)