ugh

2010-06-14 18:05:36 by pookicker
Updated

The internet makes me tired.

Maybe not the internet but, I find myself reading some kind of bullshit on it until I pass out. My sleeping pattern is all out of order. I'm awake at least 24 hours at a time before I can sleep and that part usually lasts 4 to 6 hours. That sucks for me because I love to sleep. A lot. Trying to "make music" doesn't help either.

The last four attempts at music were done during my exhausted states and it shows. I'm the first to admit that I can't produce what is considered good or popular or special but, I've been working to learn to. The trouble is my ears have a specific gravity toward more odd sounds and less "music." Shit, what was I going to say...

I'm on brother's computer and he's got these 2.1 Klipsch speakers and they are pretty impressive. So, I decide to listen to my creations and man, I am disappointed. Ok, Self Servo sounds a lot like how I would want it to, even Precious isn't too far off (still is), but You'll Miss Her... fuck. I was secretly proud of the arrangement considering the sounds that are in it but my vocals, what the hell? In my head phones I'm like, "yeah, I'm all in my head like some fucking paradox," then I listen to it on these speakers and I can hear all these off-key, flat/sharp notes. I can't sing for shit.

OK, point: doing stuff when I'm tired all the time is very close to being high or drunk... for me at least. My neck is so fucking jacked, it messes with my right ear, like TMJ or some junk. I just want to be good at something and know it. One thing, maybe? Yeah, one is fine.
Looks like I'll have to take a break from this life magnet again and fix my body... prepare it for fight or flight. Seriously, the Gulf of Mexico is a crude oil toilet and my music isn't going to help clean it up. The best thing is to be fit enough to escape the disasters on the planet and live long enough to be a part of the apocalypse, the winning side of it, if there is one. LOL DOOM :D


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demsisdemsis

2010-06-17 05:17:50

(your not really 82, are you?).

Yeah, I know just how you feel about not being good at anything in-particular. I feel just the same too. Just another mediocre average.

And if you think your singing is bad then you really haven't herd someone who *doesn't* sing. ha, I haven't sung a word for over 1 year now. I hate my monotonous voice, even when I talk it sounds like I'm so down, but enough about me. I think you should look at it in this perspective: Have you ever wondered why you are one of the few to put lyrics in your music? have you wondered why everyone else hasn't. -Because they (and me also) are to crap at singing to even consider lyrics in music. It's as simple as that complicated mess.
Your voice (in music at-least, sounds good).

Do you have some sort of insomnia or something? Because in your last news post you mentioned not being able to sleep also. Your living health seems screwed up. I've never had alcohol. You (I'm guessing have had a lot?).

Some people are good at so much, some people are good at some things and not others, Some people are only good at being bad at everything.
I don't know you so I can't really disagree with you- but for the first time I think i've really seen someone who describes it in exactly the same way I do.

There is no such thing as a "side" when the apocalypse hits.

(Updated ) pookicker responds:

lol, I'm not 82 but, I know I'm in the older bracket on this site. I'm not a child and not an adult, just a brain with tentacles to manipulate a computational device.

True, I haven't heard many singers on hear. The ones I have though, impressive and a pleasure to listen to. (Thanks for the compliment.)

I assume that a good chunk of uploaders take stock beats, slap them together with either stock synths or their favorite whiz bangs, add little EQ and bang, club music. There are a great number of brilliant musicians on here as well...
You know, what ever the music is, it is what is. I'm not into if it's good or bad, I like it or I don't. I only care that it isn't a monster rip off someone else's shit. (Although I like all of these songs - The Prodigy's Stand Up = Manfred Mann's One Way Glass but, who is getting the credit and making the bucks? Trick Daddy's Let's Go wouldn't be shit if it weren't for the phenomenal Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne and Randy Rhoads.)

Lol, I don't have insomnia, just really bad habits. Anything that I've enjoyed I've had a gluttonous reaction to. Definitely not healthy. And yes, way too much alcohol. If you never have, don't bother. All it is health problems, legal trouble, and excuse to have a little mystery to figure out after a weekend of drunken debauchery.

It has taken me quite sometime let it soak in and maybe you'll agree with this view, I'm not here (alive) to judge anyone except myself. I can compare and contrast with others and appreciate why I feel different or why I feel the same as others.
I may be reading too deep into your responses (on your songs too) but, I believe you are pretty hard on your self. You've got some time to live yet and if you give yourself some breathing room to grow, you'll be huge at everything before you know it. ;)

In the event of an apocalypse that isn't a celestial calamity, the sides I can see are those still alive and those that are dead, those in control of necessary resources and those in servitude without the ability/will to sustain themselves. Don't forget the mania after a traumatic disaster, at least 5 of 10 humans would try to harm another.

Whoa. I should go out into the sun.