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The internet makes me tired.
Maybe not the internet but, I find myself reading some kind of bullshit on it until I pass out. My sleeping pattern is all out of order. I'm awake at least 24 hours at a time before I can sleep and that part usually lasts 4 to 6 hours. That sucks for me because I love to sleep. A lot. Trying to "make music" doesn't help either.
The last four attempts at music were done during my exhausted states and it shows. I'm the first to admit that I can't produce what is considered good or popular or special but, I've been working to learn to. The trouble is my ears have a specific gravity toward more odd sounds and less "music." Shit, what was I going to say...
I'm on brother's computer and he's got these 2.1 Klipsch speakers and they are pretty impressive. So, I decide to listen to my creations and man, I am disappointed. Ok, Self Servo sounds a lot like how I would want it to, even Precious isn't too far off (still is), but You'll Miss Her... fuck. I was secretly proud of the arrangement considering the sounds that are in it but my vocals, what the hell? In my head phones I'm like, "yeah, I'm all in my head like some fucking paradox," then I listen to it on these speakers and I can hear all these off-key, flat/sharp notes. I can't sing for shit.
OK, point: doing stuff when I'm tired all the time is very close to being high or drunk... for me at least. My neck is so fucking jacked, it messes with my right ear, like TMJ or some junk. I just want to be good at something and know it. One thing, maybe? Yeah, one is fine.
Looks like I'll have to take a break from this life magnet again and fix my body... prepare it for fight or flight. Seriously, the Gulf of Mexico is a crude oil toilet and my music isn't going to help clean it up. The best thing is to be fit enough to escape the disasters on the planet and live long enough to be a part of the apocalypse, the winning side of it, if there is one. LOL DOOM :D